Priceless


Details
Joke ID#5045
Funny (3.36)
Rating (0.99)
CategoryMen / Women  
Submitted ByMNMork2
Corrected By boodler
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(368 votes so far)

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Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!'"

Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud - $3.00
Two Aspirins - $0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time........Priceless.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by anchmike Jan 31, 2005

Priceless!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by ansh93 Feb 05, 2005

MasterCard

Comment score: 5  

Posted by Internat Feb 07, 2005

lol

Comment score: 5  

Posted by bird_luver Feb 08, 2005

there is no way that this isnt going in my favourites! great one!

Comment score: 6  

Posted by sweetpeao4o3 Feb 27, 2005

pretty funny.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by annie9698 Mar 01, 2005

i don't think this joke was 'funny', i think it is soooo sweet tho! p.s. gave u a full smiley

Comment score: 5  

Posted by leo_ Mar 02, 2005

finally..a different kind of joke and the crowd goes WILD!!!!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by putzz7993 Mar 10, 2005

you should think about writing for tv i'd watch it

Comment score: 4  

Posted by ha-ha-hee-hee Mar 22, 2005

SUPERB, FANTASTIC,TERRIFIC,GREAT, GOOD, AND ALL THE ABOVE AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.. YOUR JOKES ARE TOTALLY OUT THERE FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY!!!!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by ugogurl10 Mar 22, 2005

hilarious

Comment score: 1  

Posted by prettypinkbabygr Apr 17, 2005

This sound like a good commercial but N E Wayz it was good bravo p.s it was really sweet

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Avril_lavigne Jun 25, 2005

Lmao!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Majher Jul 21, 2005

Comment score: 2  

Posted by zoe5639 Sep 15, 2005

Very funny, this is def. the best one I have read on this site. Way to go! My utmost fav.!!!!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by orange_syrup Sep 19, 2005

awwwwwwwwwwwwww thats so kewl

Comment score: 0  

Posted by cubsfan1 Oct 10, 2005

go matercard

Comment score: 0  

Posted by fluffy5851 Oct 10, 2005

lol good one

Comment score: 2  

Posted by cubsfan1 Oct 25, 2005

there are somethings money can't buy, but for every other awesome joke there is mastercard!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by pebbles9608 Oct 31, 2005

sounds like something I'd do.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by sk8e Nov 15, 2005

that is such a good joke! where did you find it?

Comment score: 2  

Posted by KoReAn_AnGeL Jan 10, 2006

lol

Comment score: 2  

Posted by bananasisthisx Feb 03, 2006

sooo cute

Comment score: 0  

Posted by zakp Mar 27, 2006

FUNNY!!! Straight to my favorites

Comment score: 2  

Posted by hicklover01 Mar 27, 2006

HAHAHAHAHA...NO.The sad thing is....i actually read it.HEHE.

Comment score: 0  

Posted by undercover_joker May 06, 2006

I wonder where he must have been last night to get such an idea.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by teen_wiz Jun 09, 2006

I love it... it's just beautiful!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Shastaki Jun 16, 2006

Utterly HILARIOUS!!!!!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by timmycool Jun 27, 2006

going to the faves!!!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Sapah209 Aug 01, 2006

awwwww, how sweet!

Comment score: -1  

Posted by spice_2 Aug 13, 2006

That was the most perfectly laid out joke I have ever read. Definately going into my favorites.

Comment score: 0  

Posted by joy2chipmunk Oct 01, 2006

mastercard commercial much? HILARIOUS!!!!!! FULL SMILEY!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by phoenixoflife Oct 24, 2006

Comment score: -1  

Posted by bonnieshad Nov 20, 2006

FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! i love it!!!

Comment score: -1  

Posted by SuperStar95 Dec 29, 2006

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Potatosrmyfriend Apr 21, 2007

Sorry, I don't get it. :/ Can someone please explian... I "feel" very stupid.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by ComfyAndJoy May 22, 2007

OK Potatosrmyfriend (by the way, very interesting user name....) any way, it means that the wife knows now that her husband won't go out and... u know.... she knows that causehe said sumthin like,"get off me!! i'm married!!" get it now????

Comment score: 4  

Posted by xojohannyxo Jan 29, 2008

omg!! that was the sweetest thing!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by mth_lvr Aug 13, 2008

mastercard(tm) right now when you buy some thing,you pay twice as much,and get a free teddy bear.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by mth_lvr Aug 13, 2008

mastercard(tm) right now when you buy some thing,you pay twice as much,and get a free teddy bear.

Comment score: -1  

Posted by mj1321 Jun 24, 2011

He certainly deserved everything he got!!!

Comment score: -1  

Posted by mj1321 Jun 24, 2011

He certainly deserved everything he got!!!

Comment score: -1  

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