History Lesson
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(329 votes so far)
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It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a local Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"
Again, no response except from Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Martinez.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Martinez says, "George Bush at dinner with the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with the class almost at mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!"
Martinez said, "Saddam Hussein, April 9th 2003!"
| Comments on this Joke |
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Posted by tissue
 
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Jan 11, 2004 |
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Lol, this is hilarious! Can't say I approve of the cursing, but it's still one of my fav jokes. |
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| Comment score: 9 |
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Posted by Jon0513
 
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Jan 19, 2004 |
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This joke is absolutly HILLARIOUS!!!
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| Comment score: 3 |
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Posted by DaGreatCowfucius
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Jan 22, 2004 |
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Great Joke!!! |
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| Comment score: 5 |
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Posted by JmBannana
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Aug 11, 2004 |
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That was hilarious |
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| Comment score: 3 |
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Posted by pink
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Aug 18, 2004 |
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Good job! I immensly approve of a good mornings curse and hope you continue to amuse and curse for a long while!!   |
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| Comment score: 2 |
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Posted by Nicky101
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Nov 24, 2004 |
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| Comment score: 2 |
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Posted by DennysGirl
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Jan 31, 2005 |
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Hillarious!!!!!!1 |
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| Comment score: 3 |
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Posted by Unicycle100
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Feb 11, 2005 |
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Greatest Joke on this site! |
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| Comment score: 4 |
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Posted by scouttrooper
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Feb 22, 2005 |
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To the favorites!! |
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| Comment score: 9 |
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Posted by scouttrooper
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Mar 04, 2005 |
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Why is this rated so low? |
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| Comment score: 2 |
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Posted by putzz7993
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Mar 10, 2005 |
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great one as i read it i couldn't think on wher you were going with it but the ending was the best part and pulled it all togather |
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| Comment score: 8 |
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Posted by bunnyman123
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Apr 13, 2005 |
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awesome
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| Comment score: 2 |
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Posted by Geno
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Apr 15, 2005 |
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awesome joke and i it`s not easy to be able to get that out of me    |
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| Comment score: 1 |
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Posted by juggleboy502
 
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Apr 26, 2005 |
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this is GREAT!!! |
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| Comment score: 7 |
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Posted by sugar
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May 01, 2005 |
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This is absolutely the best joke I have seen on this website. I am sending this to 3 of my friends. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading other jokes from you in the future. |
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| Comment score: 5 |
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Posted by gandalf
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May 16, 2005 |
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The suck this was hilarious easily th best joke |
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| Comment score: 5 |
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Posted by devilslilangel
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Jun 08, 2005 |
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nice thats only the third time 2day i have laughed! that means u r doing good keep up the good work!!! ttul! |
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| Comment score: 6 |
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Posted by CodyS
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Jun 10, 2005 |
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Wasn't as funny as all the other people are saying it is, but i like it |
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| Comment score: -1 |
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Posted by sophia7
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Jun 15, 2005 |
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great joke!! I have to read it over and over...just for the laugh |
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| Comment score: 5 |
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Posted by 2006
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Jun 16, 2005 |
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THAT WAS SOOO SOOOOO FUNNY DUDE!!!! When I read over it, I didnt know where you were going with it until I took two minutes of my precious little time to read it and I smiled for another two minutes...THANK YOU for making my night!!! |
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| Comment score: 6 |
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Posted by kremen
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Jun 19, 2005 |
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Awesome. A+ for History! |
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| Comment score: 5 |
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Posted by skywalker207
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Jun 22, 2005 |
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that has to be one of the funniest things i have heard in all my life |
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| Comment score: 4 |
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Posted by belladonna
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Jun 28, 2005 |
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I see why "you're" at the top of the class -- now that's a funny joke, unlike some others I've read on this site. Good 4 U |
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| Comment score: 2 |
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Posted by Latina_marisa
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Jul 04, 2005 |
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This is funny and im a mexican |
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| Comment score: 1 |
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Posted by phantomgal
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Aug 23, 2005 |
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funny |
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| Comment score: 1 |
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Posted by orange_syrup
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Aug 28, 2005 |
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histerical |
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| Comment score: 1 |
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Posted by eger2please
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Nov 06, 2005 |
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so cool |
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| Comment score: 1 |
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Posted by bananasisthisx
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Jan 02, 2006 |
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nice |
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| Comment score: 1 |
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Posted by speedywheels
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Apr 14, 2006 |
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| Comment score: 1 |
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Posted by phynyxs
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May 10, 2006 |
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You could also add on the following:
Finally, someone threw an eraser at Martinez. Someone else shouted, "Duck!"
The teacher asked, "Who said that?"
martinez said, "Dick Cheney, 2006." |
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| Comment score: 2 |
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Posted by Squelch
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Jan 25, 2007 |
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| Comment score: 1 |
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Posted by dwade3
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May 20, 2009 |
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when i was reading the comments 1 mexican thought it was funny if i was mexican i guess i wouldnt find this to funny.funny joke didnt think to good of the cursing but still good joke.  |
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| Comment score: 1 |
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(3.27) 
