History Lesson

Joke ID#3832
Funny (3.28)
Rating (2.19)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted ByAnchMike
Corrected By boodler
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(332 votes so far)

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It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a local Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"

Again, no response except from Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Martinez.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Martinez says, "George Bush at dinner with the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with the class almost at mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!"

Martinez said, "Saddam Hussein, April 9th 2003!"

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by tissue Jan 11, 2004

Lol, this is hilarious! Can't say I approve of the cursing, but it's still one of my fav jokes.

Comment score: 9  

Posted by Jon0513 Jan 19, 2004

This joke is absolutly HILLARIOUS!!! _________________________________

Comment score: 3  

Posted by DaGreatCowfucius Jan 22, 2004

Great Joke!!!

Comment score: 5  

Posted by JmBannana Aug 11, 2004

That was hilarious

Comment score: 3  

Posted by pink Aug 18, 2004

Good job! I immensly approve of a good mornings curse and hope you continue to amuse and curse for a long while!!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Nicky101 Nov 24, 2004

Comment score: 2  

Posted by DennysGirl Jan 31, 2005


Comment score: 3  

Posted by Unicycle100 Feb 11, 2005

Greatest Joke on this site!

Comment score: 4  

Posted by scouttrooper Feb 22, 2005

To the favorites!!

Comment score: 9  

Posted by scouttrooper Mar 04, 2005

Why is this rated so low?

Comment score: 2  

Posted by putzz7993 Mar 10, 2005

great one as i read it i couldn't think on wher you were going with it but the ending was the best part and pulled it all togather

Comment score: 8  

Posted by bunnyman123 Apr 13, 2005


Comment score: 2  

Posted by Geno Apr 15, 2005

awesome joke and i it`s not easy to be able to get that out of me

Comment score: 1  

Posted by juggleboy502 Apr 26, 2005

this is GREAT!!!

Comment score: 7  

Posted by sugar May 01, 2005

This is absolutely the best joke I have seen on this website. I am sending this to 3 of my friends. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading other jokes from you in the future.

Comment score: 5  

Posted by gandalf May 16, 2005

The suck this was hilarious easily th best joke

Comment score: 5  

Posted by devilslilangel Jun 08, 2005

nice thats only the third time 2day i have laughed! that means u r doing good keep up the good work!!! ttul!

Comment score: 6  

Posted by CodyS Jun 10, 2005

Wasn't as funny as all the other people are saying it is, but i like it

Comment score: -1  

Posted by sophia7 Jun 15, 2005

great joke!! I have to read it over and over...just for the laugh

Comment score: 5  

Posted by 2006 Jun 16, 2005

THAT WAS SOOO SOOOOO FUNNY DUDE!!!! When I read over it, I didnt know where you were going with it until I took two minutes of my precious little time to read it and I smiled for another two minutes...THANK YOU for making my night!!!

Comment score: 6  

Posted by kremen Jun 19, 2005

Awesome. A+ for History!

Comment score: 5  

Posted by skywalker207 Jun 22, 2005

that has to be one of the funniest things i have heard in all my life

Comment score: 4  

Posted by belladonna Jun 28, 2005

I see why "you're" at the top of the class -- now that's a funny joke, unlike some others I've read on this site. Good 4 U

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Latina_marisa Jul 04, 2005

This is funny and im a mexican

Comment score: 1  

Posted by phantomgal Aug 23, 2005


Comment score: 1  

Posted by orange_syrup Aug 28, 2005


Comment score: 1  

Posted by eger2please Nov 06, 2005

so cool

Comment score: 1  

Posted by bananasisthisx Jan 02, 2006


Comment score: 1  

Posted by speedywheels Apr 14, 2006

Comment score: 1  

Posted by phynyxs May 10, 2006

You could also add on the following: Finally, someone threw an eraser at Martinez. Someone else shouted, "Duck!" The teacher asked, "Who said that?" martinez said, "Dick Cheney, 2006."

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Squelch Jan 25, 2007

Comment score: 1  

Posted by dwade3 May 20, 2009

when i was reading the comments 1 mexican thought it was funny if i was mexican i guess i wouldnt find this to funny.funny joke didnt think to good of the cursing but still good joke.

Comment score: 1  

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