Two Hard Questions

Joke ID#2459
Funny (2.98)
Rating (0.79)
CategoryNews / Politics  
Submitted Byyoyoblond
Corrected By einat17
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Two Tough Questions

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

Candidate A -
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B -
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C -
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional
beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.


Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question:
If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember: Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic and in case you never saw this one...

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:

* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by jedichick1 Aug 09, 2005

best ive seen on the whole website. csl thnx, u made my day

Comment score: 0  

Posted by linz2229 Sep 17, 2005

that was so0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 AWESOME!!!! nice job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by buttons Sep 30, 2005

This is ironic and makes you think

Comment score: 0  

Posted by smartie_pants Jun 07, 2006

I would soo put that on my myspace... if I still had 1. not really a joke though. its kinda true. oh well, i liked it. Full happy face anyways

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Shastaki Jun 16, 2006

Awesome! One of the best I've seen on this site!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by smile-14 Oct 17, 2006

awwsome really crazy and wierd

Comment score: 2  

Posted by ambervenom Aug 10, 2012

this is our government. good job a**holes

Comment score: 1  

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