Redneck Letter from Home

Joke ID#384
Funny (3.12)
Rating (0.5)
Submitted Bysomething
Corrected By x0Lindsey
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A Letter From A Redneck Mother To Her Son

Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by einat17 May 01, 2003

I usually don't like rednecks, but this one really cracked me up! ;-)

Comment score: 3  

Posted by welshl Nov 27, 2003

you don't like rednecks or you don't like redneck jokes?

Comment score: 4  

Posted by smartie_pants Jun 20, 2005

oh my gosh, what a stupid mom!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by ntsoaky Jul 21, 2005

wow! i love it! beautiful especially the w/machine part- is that a toilet?

Comment score: 3  

Posted by SweetTooth1479 Nov 26, 2005

yo calm down welsh einat probably meant the jokes

Comment score: 0  

Posted by zemoxian Dec 22, 2005

ntsoaky, I think that was an old fashioned toilet with the tank up high and a pull chain. That's a cryin' shame! And, who takes house numbers so they don't have to change addresses?

Comment score: 4  

Posted by boodler May 13, 2006

Apparently, Rednecks do!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Strogg_man Dec 15, 2006

dude that was sweet!!!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by rdiggity Apr 14, 2010

hey thats not funny man half of this stuff has happened to me but the jokes are hilarious i cant deny that

Comment score: -1  

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