News From School

Joke ID#1695
Funny (3.25)
Rating (1.24)
Submitted ByNewf
Corrected By anchmike
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"Dear Mother and Dad,

It has been three months now since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not writing before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read further unless you are sitting down, okay?

Well, then, I'm getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty well healed. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day.

Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump was witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me in the hospital and since I have nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment.
It's really a basement room, and it's kind of cute.

He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents, and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child.

The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection that prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. I have bumps all over my "down there" but this will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am taking daily. I know that you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race, color and religion than ours, I know your often-expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by this fact.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire. I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital. I am not pregnant. I am not engaged. I do not have a disease and there is no miscegenation in my life. However, I am getting a "D" in history and an "F" in science, and I wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.

Your loving daughter, JL

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by einat17 Jul 08, 2003

Hilarious! don't think the parents stayed conscious enough to hear the good news...

Comment score: 3  

Posted by hilo Jul 09, 2003

AHAHAHAHA!! I love it!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Monique114 Aug 10, 2003

Hahaha, great joke!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by kgirlca Feb 07, 2004

Hilarious!!! At first I thought it was a guy going to college and i kinda got freaked out. That was fixed up though.

Comment score: 7  

Posted by buttons Sep 12, 2005

Oh my god , my parents would have killed me. Still laughing. Best one I've read today

Comment score: 1  

Posted by lyris May 01, 2006

There's another one just like it... I don't know if it's considered a dupe but ya... but GREAT JOKE!!!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by teen_wiz May 27, 2006

I don't get it. Can someone explain this to me?

Comment score: 2  

Posted by grungy49 Sep 09, 2006

Once she had said all the bad things her parents' would have thought nothing of her D in science and her F in history, whereas if she had just said she got a D and an F her parents' would have been furious

Comment score: 2  

Posted by cheer492 Mar 04, 2007

cute!! i love it!! =p

Comment score: 2  

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