Arriving Home Late

Joke ID#1605
Funny (3.37)
Rating (1.01)
CategoryMen / Women  
Submitted ByNewf
Corrected By Celanba
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(383 votes so far)

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The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I promised my husband that I would be home by midnight.

The hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., drunk to the gills, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. "Whew," I thought, "got away with that one!"

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh shit!" cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted.

Comments on this Joke
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Posted by dsquared Jul 02, 2003

Heh, I've heard this one before but I crack up every time I read it... simply hysterical.

Comment score: 5  

Posted by einat17 Mar 09, 2004

Good one!!!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by annie9698 Feb 25, 2005

funnier if the one arriving late was the man

Comment score: 0  

Posted by ha-ha-hee-hee Mar 22, 2005

when in come up w/GREAT ideas.... good one.. luv it......

Comment score: 3  

Posted by Roxygurl54 Apr 01, 2005

Great joke!!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by Latina_marisa Jul 05, 2005

This joke is HILARIOUS. What makes it funnier is that she farted. FARTS ARE HILARIOUS!!!!.

Comment score: 3  

Posted by SamanthaGold Jul 26, 2005

The end was plain HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by undercover_joker May 05, 2006

farting part really cracked me up I wonder how much he pays his spys (how he found out about tripping over _THE_CAT_

Comment score: 2  

Posted by DennysGirl Jun 26, 2006

He probably heard the cat meow as she tripped over him.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by cheer492 Sep 10, 2006

lol good one!!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by phoenixoflife Oct 23, 2006

Comment score: 2  

Posted by RustyDQ Nov 25, 2006


Comment score: 1  

Posted by carissker9 Nov 29, 2006

Hilarious. Perfect. Inexplicable wonderful. LUV IT!!!!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by ntsoaky Dec 07, 2006

Wonder why this isnt in my faves tho I read it last year! Brilliant and side splitting! 2 my faves. I can imagine

Comment score: 3  

Posted by cheesetoast Mar 28, 2007

Great Joke!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by mmmcla01 Apr 28, 2007

ziaobaby...he knew it wasn't the clock... Good joke!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by kappa64 Jul 16, 2008

HILARIOUS Thanks I needed something to cheer me up. To the faves you go!!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by juan3629 Oct 11, 2011


Comment score: -1  

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