WordPerfect Assistant


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Joke ID#121
Funny (3.46)
Rating (0.38)
CategoryTech  
Submitted Bysomething
Corrected By Fathead
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This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

".......Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Ah, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by shimmermaid Aug 04, 2005

I should say the employee got fired...that was hilarious! Great joke!

Comment score: 12  

Posted by ashleyrena143 Aug 18, 2005

LOL THAT WAS HILARIOUS!

Comment score: 4  

Posted by WolfDaemon Aug 23, 2005

ROFL!! This is way too good!

Comment score: 7  

Posted by zemoxian Sep 19, 2005

Does he get a full refund if the drink holder is broken?

Comment score: 9  

Posted by 2sandwoman Nov 28, 2005

ROFLMBO! That was hilarious! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by 2sandwoman Nov 28, 2005

ROFLMBO! That was hilarious! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL!

Comment score: 5  

Posted by sunnyday311 Dec 15, 2005

This joke is just as funny every time you read it. 4/5 smilies for you!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by celanba Feb 19, 2006

Who tries to use a computer when the power's out?!?!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by joke_lover_101 Apr 07, 2006

FFFFUUUUULLLL SMILLLYYSSS

Comment score: 3  

Posted by Math_freak Apr 08, 2006

HILARIOUS! LYHO (Laugh your head off)

Comment score: 5  

Posted by linkofhyrule Apr 11, 2006

That was hysterical!

Comment score: 4  

Posted by bballrox2123 Apr 23, 2006

*lololololololol* cant stop laughing *lololololololol*

Comment score: 4  

Posted by PaigeRm999 May 08, 2006

lol that was histerical!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by auntiesis Jun 15, 2006

Hilarious, just hilarious. I think it was me on the phone that day. I'm not very mechanical. I get it from my mother. One day our electricity went out so we had no cable, and my mom said " That's O.K. kids we'll just watch a tape." Hahahahaha!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by jokester13 Jul 06, 2006

That is hillarious.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by mumpo Jul 21, 2006

LOL LOL LOL . That was great girliepie!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by 5600113 Jul 29, 2006

great joke!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by possumgirl22213 Aug 05, 2006

That one's great! I love it! LOL!

Comment score: 3  

Posted by bmonkey Aug 07, 2006

nice one!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by cubsfan1 Aug 22, 2006

Awesome Joke! Hilarious! This is one of my favorites!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by yourwrstnitemare Aug 27, 2006

this is one of the best jokes i ever heard lol

Comment score: 2  

Posted by brooklynn567 Sep 30, 2006

THAT WAS SO FUNNY i'm going to tell all my friends at school

Comment score: 1  

Posted by smile4me Feb 07, 2007

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! i luv it!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by funkaimunkai Mar 12, 2007

good

Comment score: 2  

Posted by lukeschett Mar 27, 2007

too long but still good

Comment score: 0  

Posted by leaffan4life Mar 28, 2007

I would have said the same as this assistant!!LOL great joke

Comment score: 1  

Posted by auntiesis Apr 12, 2007

This was the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I actually know people like that. I'm still laughing.

Comment score: 1  

Posted by smile4me Jul 10, 2007

lol! i cant believe that actually happened! LOL!!!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by bobbin4apples Jul 30, 2007

rolf that is soooooooo funny lmao

Comment score: 2  

Posted by popesantaxiv Nov 17, 2007

HA!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by cookie7878 Dec 12, 2007

Omfg that is soo funny!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by ShriekaFox666 Apr 09, 2008

LMAO That's freaking awesome!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by whatevasade Apr 12, 2008

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT !!!!!! DEFINITELY GOING TO THE FAVS!!!!!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by mashfreak4077 May 24, 2008

Absoulutly love it! The stupidness of people is amazing!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by theman Jan 19, 2009

Wow, that was pretty good. NOT, that was great!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by babybee Nov 08, 2010

Haha

Comment score: 1  

Posted by mchad Oct 12, 2011

Lol Cant stop

Comment score: 2  

Posted by catgalnineteen Oct 13, 2011

i am on braingle as kittygirl19!!!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by NYTTA Sep 20, 2012

love love love your joke, you should not own a computer your self . . .

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Muscat9 Jun 18, 2013

According to snopes this is 100% false but funny.

Comment score: 2  

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