Only in America


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Joke ID#102
Funny (3.34)
Rating (0.45)
CategoryOther / Misc  
Submitted Bysomething
Corrected By boodler
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1. Only in America . . . can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America . . . are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America . . . do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America . . . do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America . . . do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America . . . do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America . . . do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America . . . do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America . . . do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."

10. Only in America . . . do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.




Comments on this Joke
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Posted by od-1 Apr 08, 2003

so true!!! what a great way to start the day: laughing!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by maria_08540 Mar 10, 2005

I've heard some of these, but some just surprised me!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by shimmermaid Oct 01, 2005

Only in America...do we make jokes about only in America... This is an excellent joke, and one of my favorites!

Comment score: 2  

Posted by goosh Dec 10, 2005

funny...but i wish they wrote some more

Comment score: 0  

Posted by brain_dead Dec 17, 2005

true true

Comment score: 1  

Posted by drummerboy_12 Jan 11, 2006

true dat

Comment score: 1  

Posted by bubbles101007 May 22, 2006

Only in america do they have weight loss commercials every 10 seconds!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by mellew Jun 16, 2006

We often let the answering machine pick up our calls so we don't have to talk to whoever ot was if we don't feel like it.

Comment score: 0  

Posted by hotchick_802 Jul 24, 2006

that is soo true!!

Comment score: 0  

Posted by phoenixoflife Oct 18, 2006

sad but true

Comment score: 2  

Posted by Disney_Lover Nov 23, 2006

I find 1, 3, and 5 sad but unfortunately true.

Comment score: 2  

Posted by scatteam_2 Apr 20, 2007

1 and 6 are so true

Comment score: 2  

Posted by azmanamza Nov 25, 2007

"Many bloodsucking creatures!" That was FUNNY!!!

Comment score: 1  

Posted by Hugme12 Apr 03, 2008

1 4 6 and 9 wher all my favorite.

Comment score: 2  

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Comment score: -1  

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